Independent Spirit

A few years ago my eldest daughter went on an adventure, and not her first. Not quite eighteen, she flew to BC and lived and worked there for many months. A few summers ago she traveled across the country with her boyfriend. She called often to tell of her adventures: sleeping in a tent in a meadow, eating in an organic café, riding the subway, meeting new people, seeing a bear and practicing her French. She also told us of her plans for the coming days and weeks. Often these plans changed with the wind as new opportunities arise. Often people she encountered did not understand her or her lack of a “back-up plan”.

With her dark hair, olive skin and colourful, exotic clothes and jewellery, my daughter looks more like a gypsy than a girl from small town Nova Scotia. She is a gypsy at heart as well; always wanting to see the world, especially exotic places. Right now her travels have been within Canada, but she wants to travel to Europe, Africa, and Asia or elsewhere when she has the opportunity. A lot of people do not understand her zeal for adventure or why her parents (us) would encourage or “allow” her to go. She has always been a self-sufficient young lady with a mind of her own, so we have tried to give her some opportunities to develop her independent spirit. It does not mean we didn’t worry about her safety or miss her when she left, but to hold her back would only damage her spirit. We respected her decisions and trusted that she would find her way in the world. In her young life, she has travelled and seen more than a lot of people do in their lifetimes.

I feel that I am taking an adventure with my daughter every time she leaves even though I am still at home in my own house. I am learning how to let go, to trust my daughter and her wisdom, to support her decision to see the world. I have done a bit of traveling in my youth (not as much as her) and I plan to do some in the future. Seeing her go off “shakes up” my neat little world and makes me realize there is still a lot to see. I can’t be complacent and think my traveling dreams are over now that I am older and have children. I also realize I can have adventures here at home by trying fresh activities and meeting new people.

Now at 22, my daughter has settled down with her soul mate in BC, all the way across the country. She is still trying new things, like sewing, weaving and gardening. I am sure her adventures are not over yet.

Life is an adventure. I have learned that from my first born child. I have encouraged her to be independent, speak her mind, and try new ventures. Now I should take my own advice and start an adventure. There is a quote that I love about children:

"There are only two lasting gifts that we can give to our children: one is Roots, the other Wings.”